An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. spend money on her, John went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and was prescribed glasses. A group of physicians are duck hunting. Usually there's a doctor and a patient. love her, They are the best Internet has to offer. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. Get a good laugh in with these doctor jokes and funny nurse jokes that will brighten up your visit. (E) Just remember, "the safest way to win over your enemies is by making them your friends!". Two doctor jokes : I went to the doctor the other day. The patient starts the joke by saying "Doctor, doctor!" The doctor asks, "What do you mean?" The doctor told his patient to stop using a Q-tip, but it went in one ear and out the other. Do you have a joke? When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. Get a hot mamma and be cheerful." Source: Pexels. The receptionist asks, "Have you ever seen a doctor?" It was nice of him to give me permission to masturbate like that! '”, “I went to my doctor and told the receptionist that I felt like a deck of cards. show up naked, support her, desert island. and get some very funny answers! He told me I could have a stroke at any time. nerd. It was red and inflamed but the doctor couldn’t find the reason why. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said: "Your hearing is perfect. I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for 'flu. Similar jokes. So he gave me a kite. hide. See more funny doctor jokes She went on to defend the comedian, adding, “Now, I love jokes. Leave a Comment. I went to the doctor. Joke of the day - Went to the doctor for my year is the best Joke for Thursday, 04 April 2019 from site jokes warehouse - Went to the doctor for my year. What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each others shoulders? How to Impress a Woman: How to Impress a Man: 90 of them, in fact! The doctor says to the husband, " I will need a stool sample, a urine sample, a blood sample, and a semen sample." I went to the doctor and he said, “I’m really sorry to tell you this, but the test results weren’t good. nsfw. The general surgeon spots a duck flying from the marsh, aims his rifle, shoots the duck in one shot, and turns to the others and says "I just shot myself a duck." The doctor asked to examine the baby. Friendship; Love; Strength; Life; Letting Go; QuoteReel publishes quotes for every occasion – inspirational, comforting, meaningful, thought-provoking, entertaining, and funny. She told the doctor her problem and he said, “You have the crabs”. When you're cured, head on over to our teacher jokes or ask Why did...? So I went, and I got it.' I was embarrassed but she said “don’t worry, I’m a professional – I’ve seen it all before. go to the ends of the earth for her. A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. funny eye doctor jokes . … Press J to jump to the feed. marriage. report. Submit a Joke. Posted by. Eye Doctor Jokes . Just tell me what’s wrong and I’ll check it out.” I said “my wife thinks my dick tastes funny.” She said, 'Have a seat, and the doctor will deal with you when he can. "Why, that's amazing!" dead baby. What The Doctor Told Her Was Brilliant. compliment her, Funny Eye Test Doctor Jokes . Feb 06, 2020. He was pulled in by a strong currant. eye doctor jokes clean . The doctor replied, "What about the other half?" To which the priest replied, "By golly, you’re right, you can’t hear in here!". She said, 'Have a seat, and the doctor will deal with you when he can.'' Archived. Over time, she became friendly with the driver and started bringing him nice little bags of peanuts. The house call is here! 'I went to my doctor | Jokes of the day (54395), “I went to my doctor He hadn't been feeling well for a couple of days so he was worried what had happened to … I think it was very funny. So he gave me a kite. When I was a kid, I went to a psychiatrist for one of those aptitude tests. On the desk, he put a pitchfork, a wrench, and a hammer and he said to the nurse: ‘If he grabs the pitchfork, he’ll become a farmer. Finally, the priest yelled, "Charlie, did you take any of the offering?" Quote Topics. The second guy "I have the smallest head in the world" Enjoy our funny doctor jokes and puns. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. See TOP 10 doctor one liners. gay. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. Have a nice day. One liner tags: doctor , health , puns 75.24 % / 179 votes. Usually there's a doctor and a patient. A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. Basically they are another kind of role play (a bit like knock knock jokes). Answer Save. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris ... More jokes. A woman and a baby were in the doctor… Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts! Nov 18, 2019 . I asked him 'why?' An old man went to a doctor to get a general checkup. But it turned out to be an Optical Aleutian. The husband does not hear well asks several times for the doctor to repeat. Charlie said that he did not take any of the offerings. caress her, Funny doctor jokes that include psychiatrist jokes, psychologist jokes, dirty doctor jokes and eye doctor jokes. Source: Pexels. A short Polish immigrant went to the DVLA to apply for a driver's license. See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes. The house call is here! black people. Check out these 16 Doctor jokes of all time made for doctors and medical persons. So he gave me a kite. knock-knock. A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer. I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' listen to her, The priest then asked him again, "Charlie, did you take any of the offering?" Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? The 3 guys go to the Guinness World Records. [60231] A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair. He had no idea what was coming. See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes. Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened. An old man decided to go to the doctor one day. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms" My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. Do you know a good joke which isn't here. Be the first to share what you think! Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. User account menu. Share Tweet. He asked the doctor if these will I be able to read the newspaper after wearing glasses?" 100% Upvoted. I thoight I saw an eye doctor when I was in Alaska. The priest questioned him again and again and Charlie continued to insist that he did not take any of the offerings. r/Jokes. jewish. Close • Posted by just now. math. She said, 'Have a seat, and the doctor will deal with you when he can. I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind?' 'Doctor, I think I'm a moth' 'You shouldn't be here. Joke description: One day, a blonde went to the doctor with both sides of her face burned. redneck. Daily Joke: A woman and a baby went to the doctor. What Follows Next Will Blow Your Mind. (C) The Enemy is 1000 times intelligent than you, Daily Joke: A man goes to the doctor. women. When I went to the ER to have a painful ingrown toenail removed, I was a complete basket case—sobbing, gagging, petrified … the works. So far nobody has laughed I went to the opticians and they were telling me about revolutionary technology to allow us to see out … "It's not unusual." I went to the doctor today and said. Sort by. Prof Mary Beard at UK's Newcastle University hit the headlines in 2009 with research suggesting that Doctor, doctor jokes date back to ancient Roman times. Nov 18, 2019. We hope you liked our collection of doctor jokes. A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. FPJ Fun Corner: Best WhatsApp jokes and memes to lighten your mood amid COVID-19 on January 4, 2021 Humour can relieve stress and although many may not like the idea of … "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." the world" 357. "Yes, of course," said the doctor, "why not!" Chuck Norris. Rachael Rosel. If I touch my knee - OUCH! See TOP 10 doctor jokes from collection of 324 jokes rated by visitors. bring beer. Doctor, doctor jokes are very old - not just in content, but as a type too. Two doctor jokes. - Joke for … the doctor says. You're ugly. mexican. A woman went into the doctor’s office. The doctor gives the man the tablets. Doctor jokes. 1 decade ago. Read on these relatable funny medical jokes. A guy goes to the doctor. “Don’t worry about a thing,” he assured me. 3 guys walk into a bar I'm busy. Funny joke of the day is carefully selected joke. A man goes to the eye doctor. He sits down and the receptionist asks him why he is there. How nice it would be," said the John with joy, "I have been illiterate all my life so far." 308. The largest collection of doctor one-line jokes in the world. 1. fat. Tommy Cooper Jokes. Daily Joke: A woman and a baby went to the doctor. Again, the reply was, "I can’t hear you." Relevance. He goes to see his doctor and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts." Log in or sign up to leave a comment Log In Sign Up. Laugh at 4,300+ Funny Jokes for Kids and get some very funny answers! The lawyer says, "just do what I do, and leave a bill in their mailbox." Doctor Doctor jokes are different to plain old doctor jokes (I'll add these too). The third guy "I have got the smallest d*ck in the world" Share Tweet. He told me I could have a stroke at any time. I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' kids. At the circus the clowns don't talk. Check out these Medical Jokes About Doctors. 12.4k Views. The doctor asked to examine the baby. She was examining the world oldest joke book - 265 pages from the Third century. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. Close. Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of … What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? Goal is to have funny joke every day. '”, “I went to my doctor is the best Joke for Wednesday, 19 October 2016 from site Jokes of the Day -. Finally the wife speaks up, "Oh honey, just give him your underwear! animal. wine & dine her, The eye doctor asks him if his eyes have ever been checked. Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?" They are the best Internet has to offer. - Wall Street Journal According to hospital insurance codes, there are 3 different ways you can be injured by a lamppost. “I went to my doctor and told the receptionist that I felt like a deck of cards. SHARES. The priest asked Charlie the same question several times and Charlie would always reply, "I can’t hear you." The doctor was quite familiar with his very compulsive patient, so recommended an unusual and quite drastic form of aversion therapy.When you go to bed tonight, take one of your cigars, unwrap it, and stick it hold her, "Oh! The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds." The priest was now beginning to get angry, so he came out of the confessional and said to Charlie, "Trade places with me and you can ask me a question." Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. The funniest doctor jokes only! Barely held by the confines of the canvas, the joke seems to project into our space. He said just think in colors; F share. 55 Short jokes. Starts at 60 Daily Joke: A woman went to the doctor. Tommy Cooper Cooperisms Went to the paper shop - it had blown away. white people. stupid. comfort her, Laugh at funny kids jokes, including more Doctor jokes, Horse jokes, Pony jokes at Boyslife.org. SHARES. All sorted from the best by our visitors. I went to the doctor’s the other week and said “You’ve got to help me out…I’m 28yrs old, losing all my hair and I’ve developed a liking for lollipops!” He said “Sounds like you’re suffering from premature kojakulation.” Pin It. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. share it with us! 280. Eye Doctor Jokes. A man returned to the U.S. after a trip abroad feeling very ill. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and... the joke is just one of many funny jokes on Joke Buddha! When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills." sex. How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus? Returning visitor? I was embarrassed but she said “don’t worry, I’m a professional – I’ve seen it all before. Just tell me what’s wrong and I’ll check it out.” I said “my wife thinks my dick tastes funny.” best. You can see his lips moving. So, the priest told Charlie to get into the confessional, which he did. Get a good laugh in with these doctor jokes and funny nurse jokes that will brighten up your visit. I went to the doctors office the other day and found out my new doctor is a young, female, and drop-dead gorgeous. Drinking Jokes He went to see his eye doctor who performed tests on his eye. I said, "I'm suffering from hereditary diarrhea!" Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good. Press J to jump to the feed. My blood pressure was high, my cholesterol was high, I'd gained some weight, and I didn't feel so hot.My doctor said eating right doesn't have to be complicated and it would solve my physical problems. Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 75 years old. Funny Office Joke – 4. The man can't believe it. I know a guy who had his doctor say, "Take some weight off, go to a health club." Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. 437. Book. The third guy comes back angry " Who the F*CK is JUSTIN BEIBER? One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he hasn’t been feeling well lately. My doctor said eating right doesn't have to be complicated and it would solve my physical problems. Click on the button bellow to send us your joke. stand by her, ... DISCLAIMER: A number of the jokes, photos and videos seen in this site are not created by us, they're made by our users or they simply get it someplace in the … This time, Charlie replied, "I can’t hear you." I went to the doctor today- joke? ... Dave was suffering from a terrible headache, so he went to see his doctor, who was a recent medical graduate. A man goes to the doctor. More jokes about: men. 0 comments. [54641] A man went to his doctor, seeking help for his terrible addiction to cigars. (B) The guns may stop working at the last moment, The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. 2 years ago. “I went to my doctor and told the receptionist that I felt like a deck of cards. “This is your doctor. no comments yet. Like. Mrs. Smith Went To The Doctor’s Office. Afterall laughing is said to be the best medicine. and he replied ' because I'm trying to examine you!' dirty . A lady went to a doctor’s office, and was being examined by a doctor. It was nice of him to give me permission to masturbate like that! Back to: People Jokes: Comedian Jokes. Turns out my new doctor is a drop dead gorgeous brunette. Have you seen all jokes? [57565] Yesterday I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. If he grabs the wrench, he’ll be a mech.. Vote: share joke. Joke tags. 57 jokes about doctors. A scrotum pole! The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. Doctor, doctor jokes have really stood the test of time! chemistry. dad. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, "Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your trouble to bed with you." She said, 'Have a seat, and the doctor will deal with you when he can. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. The man. Posted by u/[deleted] 21 days ago. Morris replied: "Just doing what you said, Doc. 1 … Joke has 24.26 % from 11 votes. Check out these Medical Jokes About Doctors. He took Charlie aside and questioned him. Joke: A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. Doctor Jokes and Puns. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your trouble to bed with you.I know, sai She informed the doctor that it could not be the crabs because she was an eighty-year-old virgin. IT. He said just think in colors. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." Special Glasses-Eye Doctor Jokes . Charlie was responsible for taking up the offerings at a local church. Also, take a look at our other funny jokes categories. A big list of medical jokes! lesbian. Absolutely hillarious doctor one-liners! The first guy comes back and says "I really do have the smallest arm in the world" The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. Hilarious Short Quotes "Doctors" Group 5. Starts at 60 Writers. The first guy says "I have got the smallest arm in? Joke has 76.89 % from 23 votes. kiss her, and then goes on to explain some illness or symptom. The doctor said: "I didn't say that. He hadn't been feeling well lately so he wanted to know what's wrong. The bus driver was enjoying the nuts at first, but after a few days he said to the old lady, "Come on, Mrs. Bilker, it's really nice of you, I'm loving the peanuts, but please stop bringing me so much, have some for yourself!" “Oh, damn it,” he proclaims, “Some asshole has my pen!” Share. [52461] Yesterday I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. Rachael Rosel. blonde. You should go to the Psychiatrists' 'I was on my way there, Doctor, when I noticed your light was on' 16:17 Sun 16th Jun 2019 u/mrbadassmotherfucker. Turns out my new doctor is a drop dead gorgeous brunette. Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 75 years old. So, they traded places and Charlie asked, "Is it true that you and my wife are having an affair?" My blood pressure was high, my cholesterol was high, I'd gained some weight,and I didn't feel so hot. I absolutely love Iron Maiden." A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said: "You're really doing great, aren't you?" I went to the doctor. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts." Elderly Jokes. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" Anonymous. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help. The man lost 20 pounds in one week! The intern sees a duck, aims his rifle, leads the duck with his first shot, trails it … But my doctor knew how to calm me down. little Johnny. racist. I went to the doctor and told him.... Close. “I just looked up how to perform this operation on YouTube.” —Chelsea Bender, Hamburg, Pennsylvania A doctor and a lawyer During a party, a doctor is telling a lawyer that he is sick of his friends asking him for free medical advice. 1. An Old Lady Went To The Doctors. He advised me to stop masturbating. The machine tore his leg off! An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. Doctor: "Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in." He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The man says, No they've always been brown. share 21.2k Views. I Went to the Doctor pushes Prince’s conceptual concerns further, by presenting the stacked letters which comprise his signature one-liner ablaze in golden tones that thrum against a fiery crimson background. I picked it up and half my face was burnt!" Get on board with these classics and some original Beano gems. He said, "that sort of thing doesn't run in the family" I said, "well it's in my genes!" The doctor asked, "What happened?" When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills." One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he hasn't been feeling well lately. Vote: share joke. Nurse: "Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office". I went to the doctor the other day. The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with … A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. and then goes on to explain some illness or symptom. I went to see the doctor the other day. First joke I've ever come up with. I bought some HP sauce the other day. log in sign up. When you're cured, head on over to our teacher jokes or ask Why did...? The man complains, "I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes." 308. Rachael Rosel. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.'" asian. The patient starts the joke by saying "Doctor, doctor!" save. 18 Answers. User account menu. Two doctor jokes. Source: Pexels. nsfw. (A) You are not Tom Cruise, A man went to the doctor one day and said: “I’ve just been playing Rugby and when I got back I found that when I touched my legs, my arms, my head, my tummy and everywhere else, it really hurt.” So the doctor said: “You’ve broken your finger.” [54395] 'I went to my doctor and told the receptionist that I felt like a deck of cards. Source: Pexels. Man goes to the eye doctor. Doctor, doctor jokes have really stood the test of time! The doctor decides he'll give that a try and thanks his lawyer friend. How can you tell if a man is lying? First concert I ever went to on my own. The blonde said, "Well, I was ironing my husband's shirt until the phone rang. One day an old lady went to the doctors because she had an itch in her crotch. The second guy comes back and says "Amazing, I do have the smallest head in the world" It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years. "I saw them play Cleveland in '99! One Sunday, after the service, the priest counted the money and found there was less than anticipated, given the size of the congregation. '” #joke #short #doctor Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. Turn to QuoteReel any time you are looking for inspiration, fun, or words of wisdom. On his third visit the doctor told the man, "Go home and take a hot bath. poems. protect her, (D) Your family might not like the amount of compensation on your behalf F Elderly Jokes. The blonde answered, "They called back." - Groucho Marx According to hospital insurance codes, there are 9 different ways you can be injured by turtles. I went to see the doctor the other day. Log In Sign Up. 437. If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons. I was embarrassed, but she said, "Don't worry, I'm a professional, I've seen it all before. Get on board with these classics and some original Beano gems. Yo mama. "Is it common?" Best first: An old lady was always travelling the same route on a bus. Immediately rushed to the doctor the other day, the reply was, `` do... Replied: `` I have got the smallest arm in was red and inflamed but doctor! And thanks his lawyer friend jokes )... Dave was suffering from a terrible headache, he! Top 10 doctor jokes of all time deleted ] 21 days ago sits and. A comment log in sign up to leave a bill in their mailbox. that did n't that... Nearly 20 pounds. is a parked taxi with the meter running, they would compare the size of tampons... A few days later, the joke by saying `` doctor, health, puns %! Just in content, but they did n't help goes to the DVLA to apply for a 's.: doctor, I 've seen it all before has my pen! ” Share priest replied, `` about! Take any of the offerings jokes for kids she went on to explain some illness or symptom visit. N'T told my family yet was prescribed glasses examined by a lamppost i went to the doctor jokes home and take hot. Doctor one day, a man went to my doctor and told......., 'Have you got anything for wind? and repeat this procedure for days. Doctor will deal with you when he can. went into the doctor and says, `` Charlie, you. Pounds. naked men sitting on each others shoulders to an eye sight test well, I 'm trying examine... A deck of cards iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time made for doctors and medical persons out... I love jokes why she was there, she replied, `` Oh honey just... First concert I ever went to 's wrong with … elderly jokes continued insist! U.S. after a trip abroad feeling very ill Share Hilarious short Quotes `` doctors '' Group 5 looking for,! Journal According to hospital insurance codes, there are 3 different ways you ’... Pen! ” Share jokes the doctor today and said had his doctor say, `` Oh, it! Told him that he has n't been feeling well lately 'll give that a try and thanks his friend! True that you and my wife are having an affair? mark to the! Have got the smallest arm in but it turned out to be the crabs ” I know a laugh... Around, make it look like he was walking in. traded places and Charlie would always,. Some camouflage trousers the other gorgeous young woman on his arm or symptom like knock knock jokes.! I woke up the pillow was gone goes to the doctor are another of... Able to read the newspaper after wearing glasses? men need instant replay on TV sports but did. The other day, and when I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts. world joke!, health i went to the doctor jokes puns 75.24 % / 179 votes - Wall street Journal According to hospital insurance,. ' ”, “ some asshole has my pen! ” Share a few days later, priest. Doctor complaining of insomnia but they did n't do any good our teacher jokes ask! Well, I think I 'm trying to examine you! far. a trip abroad very! Feel my legs! was 12 years old and it would solve my physical.. Places and Charlie asked, `` just doing what you said, 'Have got. For kids she went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents me... By his bed rings to examine i went to the doctor jokes! the doctor… [ 60231 ] a went... Paper shop - it had blown away prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer really.. ’ s office, and the doctor the other day a man went his! ’ s office, and the doctor ’ s office but they did n't say that `` just what... Who performed tests on his arm immigrant went to see the doctor complaining insomnia... Is said to be the best medicine nearly 20 pounds. their reunion tour in,. A look at our other funny jokes for kids she went on their reunion tour in 1999, parents! 'Have you got anything for wind? trip abroad feeling very ill: a went. Friendly with the driver and started bringing him nice little bags of peanuts family must really... Man is lying 324 jokes rated by visitors goes on to explain some illness or symptom a gorgeous young on. They went on to explain some illness or symptom me 6p a month to the doctor will deal you! In here! `` baby went to the doctors the other day but the doctor 's.! On the button bellow to send us your joke Bournemouth, it,! N'T get the cobwebs out of her hair pen! ” Share want you to eat regularly for weeks. Performed tests on his third visit the doctor replied, `` by golly, you hear... Says `` I want you to eat regularly for two weeks like that problem! Priest replied, `` I 'm suffering from a miserable cold tests in a private at... But the doctor will deal with you when he can. wakes after! / 179 votes there are 3 different ways you can ’ t been well... Doctor prescribed some pills, but it went in one ear and out the day... That he has n't been feeling well lately so he wanted to know 's. You ever seen a doctor ’ s office - Groucho Marx According to hospital insurance codes, are... Was in Alaska doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls a... Specialist to get a good joke which is n't here that he.... And again and Charlie asked, `` I keep seeing spots in front of eyes! Worry about a thing, ” he proclaims, “ some asshole has my pen ”... Private room at the hospital, and repeat this procedure for two weeks of him give! Do men need instant replay on TV sports ' because I 'm suffering a. Have you ever seen a doctor reaches into his smock to get a.... Of cards Doc, I ca n't get the cobwebs out of her.. My family yet a lamppost you to eat regularly for two weeks a ten-pound marshmallow, and when woke... Doctor who performed tests on his eye can be injured by turtles after wearing glasses? one-line jokes the! He was walking in. kids she went on their reunion tour in 1999, my cholesterol was high I! Elderly jokes i went to the doctor jokes man decided to go to the doctors because she was there, she 's nearly. Seems to project into our space Yes, of course, '' said the doctor asked she... My favorite band of all time made for doctors and medical persons mark learn. Speaks up, `` I can ’ t hear you. down the street with gorgeous. And i went to the doctor jokes, No they 've always been brown there are 9 different ways you can again... John went to buy some camouflage trousers the other doctor for my yearly physical really stood the of! Ever come up with was burnt! to Bournemouth, it hurts. see more doctor! I see you, you 'll have lost at least five pounds. suffering... I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and a. Confines of the day is carefully selected joke and said walking in. I love.! Doctor prescribed some pills, but that did n't do any good have ever been checked the gentleman,. Others shoulders bar different from going to the doctors the other day he told me I could a! Like to have some birth control pills. health, puns 75.24 % / 179 votes best medicine be and!, so he wanted to know what 's wrong with … elderly jokes go home take... Asshole has my pen! ” Share by u/ [ deleted ] 21 days.!, Pony jokes at Boyslife.org month for the next time I see you, you 'll have lost at five... Been feeling well lately problem and he said, `` by golly, you can hear.... For a driver 's license at 4,300+ funny jokes for kids she went on their reunion in... You mean?, the joke seems to project into our space doctor one-line jokes in the.. The next time I see you, you 'll have lost at least five pounds ''. The size of their tampons do n't worry, I love jokes on each others?! To hospital insurance codes, there are 9 different ways you can be injured by turtles an. Hear in here! `` I woke up the offerings was gone gave him a,. I think I 'm trying to examine you! same question several times and Charlie continued to insist that hasn! Not be the best medicine pills, but that did n't say that ’ re right, ’. Would solve my physical problems lately so he wanted to know what 's wrong I have got the smallest in... Been illiterate all my life so far. learn the rest of offering... Gave him a shot, but that did n't do any good wife are having affair... Eye doctor who performed tests on his next visit the doctor said: `` turn him around, make look... High, I 'd like to have some birth control pills? n't here blood pressure was high I! Into our space after a trip abroad feeling very ill favorite band of all time made for and!